But here's what I didn't tell him. What I still couldn't admit to myself. I was starting to feel something. Something impossible. Something dangerous.
By the end of April, we'd settled into a routine. In the morning, Josiah would help me with the preparations, then take me to breakfast. Afterwards, he'd return to the forge while I took care of the household accounts. In the afternoon, he'd return and we'd spend time together.
Sometimes I watched him work, fascinated by how he transformed iron into useful objects. Sometimes he read to me, and his reading improved significantly thanks to access to my father's library and my private lessons. In the evenings we talked about everything: his childhood on another plantation, his mother who had been sold when he was ten, and his dreams of freedom that seemed unattainable.
And I talked about my mother, who died when I was born. About the accident that paralyzed me, about the feeling of being trapped in a body that didn't work and in a society that didn't want me. We were two outcasts who found comfort in each other's company.
In May, something changed. I had watched Josiah work at the forge, heating the iron until it was red hot, then shaping it with precise strokes.
“Do you think I could try?” I asked suddenly.
He looked up in surprise. "Try what?"
“The work of forging. Hammering something.”
“Eleanor, it's hot and it's dangerous and—”
"—and I've never done anything physically demanding in my life because everyone thinks I'm too fragile, but maybe with your help I could."
He looked at me for a long time, then nodded. "Good, now I'll fix it safely."
He placed my wheelchair next to the anvil, heated a small piece of iron until it was workable, placed it on the anvil, and then gave me a lighter hammer.
“Hit right there. Don't worry about the force. Just feel the metal move.”
I struck a blow. The hammer hit the iron with a soft thud. It barely left a mark.
“Again. Put your back to it.”
I hit harder. Better hit. The iron bent slightly.
“Good. Again.”
I hammered repeatedly. My arms burned. My shoulders ached. Sweat poured down my face. But I was doing physical labor, shaping the metal with my own hands. When the iron cooled, Josiah lifted the slightly bent piece.
“Your first project. It's not much, but you did it.” He put down the iron. “You're stronger than you think. You've always been strong. You just needed the right business.”
From that day on, I spent hours at the forge. Josiah taught me the basics: how to heat metal, how to hammer it, how to shape it. I wasn't strong enough for heavy work, but I could make small objects: hooks, simple tools, decorative pieces.
For the first time in 14 years, since the accident, I felt physically capable of doing something. My legs didn't work, but my arms and hands did. And in the forge, that was enough.
But something else was happening, too. Something I couldn't control.
June brought a different revelation. One evening we were in the library. Josiah was reading Keats aloud. His reading had improved to the point of understanding complex texts. His voice was perfect for poetry. Deep, resonant, capable of giving weight to every line.
"A thing of beauty is an eternal joy," he read. "Its beauty increases. It will never fade into nothingness."
“Do you really believe that?” I asked. “That beauty is eternal.”
“I believe that beauty in memory is eternal. The object itself may fade, but the memory of beauty remains.”
What's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?
She was silent for a moment. Then: "Yesterday at the forge, covered in soot, sweating, laughing as you hammered that nail. It was beautiful."
My heart skipped a beat. "Josiah, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have..."
